Prejudice

I never thought of myself as white till I felt the sting of prejudice in a way I was totally unprepared for. I went to the movies to see “Dream Girls”. I just knew it would be wonderful and I couldn’t wait to see it. I went by myself because Toby and Austin were going to a basketball game and Amber was back in CA. I sat on the end of a row. Behind me several seats over sat a couple with a child. I didn’t pay much attention to them because the theatre was packed and I wanted to see the movie. The movie started and it was everything I hoped it would be. Before long I was engrossed in the story and the music. I knew that the child behind me was running back and forth, but the movie was so good, that I was able to tune it out. Right at the very end when Jennifer Hudson is finally getting her chance, the child behind me started rocking my seat and singing in my ear. I looked around to see if there was somewhere I could move and there wasn’t. So I quietly turned around and asked the child to please quit rocking my chair. That was it, that was all I said. Before the credits even started the mother of the child started yelling obscenities at me, calling me a F…White B…. I left the movie and started out and the woman followed me out screaming at me and calling me all kind of names. I was horrified and truly upset. The man with the woman came up and asked me what I said to the child and I told him what I said. He seemed satisfied and walked away. The woman however kept screaming at me across the lobby. I was so upset and scared. I have never been that scared before. I didn’t know whether to go to my car or to stay in the lobby. Finally I walked to my car, terrified and extremely upset. I was shaking so badly. When I got to my car I just burst into tears. I went home, terrified and locked my doors and just cried. I called Amber because Toby and Austin were still at the basketball game, told her what had happened and how I felt. She told me not to let anyone steal my independence and to get out and do something. I went out and walked around at a shopping plaza.

Prejudice, it came upon me like a train. I grew up in central Florida, which is like a melting pot so I never noticed color. I was more afraid of not fitting in because I was in a Children’s Home. I have tried very hard to raise my children to believe that God loves us all and that everyone deserves a kind word. I taught them to have respect for others no matter their race, color or position in life. I have always tried to treat people with respect and kindness. Prejudice, it was never in my vocabulary, nor did I allow it in my children’s. All of the sudden, because of this incident I felt white, very white. I hear the people on tv talk about prejudice against blacks, Jew’s, gays, but I never thought about it. I had never experienced it. Now I have and it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. It makes you scared and cautious. It has you looking at everyone differently and I don’t like that. I’m 51 years old and it’s sad to think that one small incident can change my whole life perspective. Well, I’m not going to let it! I still believe that basically, everyone deserves a kind word, a thank you, a smile…I won’t let prejudice take that away from me. I won’t let prejudice win!