College Girls

I've been thinking a lot today about College Girls. My Bible Study groups, present and past in particular. I've come to some really frank realizations about myself and these wonderful young ladies that I have been privileged to get to know.

First - They are as a group seekers! They are spending their time at college, seeking...careers, friends, future husbands, where they belong and who they are. While studying and enjoying college life, they are forever seeking ways to figure out exactly who they are and what kind of person they want to be.

Second - They are passionate! They are passionate about everything, from their friends to their music, to the movies they watch, to the positions they take on any given topic. When you get them talking about something they are passionate about they truly become animated and alive. I love that! I love watching them and listening to them.

Third - When they make a decision to commit, they do so with their whole heart. They just want to be seen as people with a true voice and heart.

In this way, I love college girls. I started doing the first Bible Study as a way to fill my empty house. After raising two kids and having them and their friends hang out here all the time, when my kids left, the friends went with them and the house became incredibly quiet. I felt that leading a group of college girls would be a way to fill the house again with young people. What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that not only would they fill my house, but they would fill my heart as well. My first group of girls were so amazing! Most of them were with me for three years and when they graduated and left, it was like losing my kids all over again. These girls became my girls. I have been to two weddings and hope to go to more. I hope to see their babies one day. After they left I thought I just couldn't do it again, I couldn't go through another group, so I took a year off. When I was asked if I would do a group this year, I prayed about it and decided I would. Once again, I have been blessed with another amazing group of girls, who have filled my heart. I hope to one day go to their weddings and see their babies as well.

I am so blessed to be a part of these young ladies lives. I love that they seek. Every week, they come to Bible Study seeking...seeking to know God's Word. Seeking to see what He has to say to them. Seeking for ways to serve Him. I love that they have passion. They are so passionate about Him and what He says to them. I love to hear them discuss a passage and what it means to them, or discuss why Paul or James would say that. It thrills me to see them seeking God and being passionate. But what really warms my heart is that they are so committed. When there are so many things pulling at them, they have committed to studying God's Word, to learning about Him and what He is trying to say to them and for that I feel truly blessed to know these girls.

How has this changed my life? Well for one thing, getting to know these girls has once again filled my home with laughter, lots of talking and fun. For another, it makes me feel energized. Just being around a room full of College girls energizes me. I find myself listening to them while they are eating dinner and talking and sometimes just smile to myself. They are just plain fun to be around! Being around them has me wanting to be more like them. Well, maybe not young, but I want to be known as seeking, passionate and committed. I want to be always seeking God's will. I want to be passionate about what He is trying to tell me and I want to be committed to Him.

I am blessed to know these young ladies and to have them as a part of my life. God knew what I needed and filled it without me even realizing it. God is so very good isn't He?

Grace

Grace is the name of my cat. She is a sweet cat, but very fat and meows like crazy if her food bowl gets empty. She doesn't have to eat it, she just doesn't want it to be empty. When you get up first thing in the morning she meows and runs around your feet until you check her bowl. When I come home from work she does the same thing. I can't use an automatic feeder because, she would eat till she popped! I'm not kidding. She is a fat cat and loves her food.

I guess I should explain a little about Grace so you can understand why she is like that. Grace is a stray cat that showed up one day at the church about 9 years ago. Everytime we walked in the building we could hear her meowing, but couldn't get her to come to us. Finally, I went into the kitchen, got some of that creamer in the little tubs, poured some in a little bowl and set it down by the bushes. She finally came out and became my cat.

She was so thin that you could see her ribs and she had just had kittens because she still had milk, so we began searching everywhere for the kittens, but couldn't find them anywhere. I took her to the Vet, and had her bathed, got her shots, dried up her milk and brought her home, (much to Toby's dismay). We figured that someone must have just dumped her out and left her. Anyway, she has been with us ever since. She doesn't even try to go outside when you open the door, it's almost like she is saying "been there, done that, not that great." She is content to just hang out, sleep and eat and boy, does she love her food.

Sometimes my life feels a little like Grace's. Sometimes, I feel like a stray, dumped out and wondering around looking for a safe place. Sometimes when people say you should try something, I just want to say "been there, done that, not that great." Sometimes, I'm content to just hang out, sleep and eat.

The problem with all of that is I am never filled. Like Grace, I freak out if I feel like my "bowl" is empty. I look for someone or something to fill it. And like Grace, I am always "meowing" for more. Maybe, I'm just not looking in the right place, maybe I'm not being filled with the right food, maybe, I need to look a little deeper.

When I feel empty, God has promised to fill me up - "Let us give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." Psalm 107:8-9;

When I feel dumped out and like a stray God says "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rest between His shoulders." Deut. 33:12;

So just like Grace, I have been hungry, but God filled me. I have felt lonely and abandoned, but God found me. Just like Grace, I don't need to go outside my Lord, because I've "been there, done that, not that great."

Gifts

“Every good and perfect gift is from above.” James 1:17

I believe God wrote that verse because He knew I was going to have to refer to it a lot once I married Toby. I love my husband, but the gift giving thing he just doesn’t quite have down yet.

Before we got married, Toby was so romantic. He would write me letters and they were so sweet. The only gift he bought for me before we got married was a necklace, a forget-me-not flower, small and dainty. He said that since he was going over seas for a while he wanted me to have something to remember him. I must say, I bought it, hook, line and sinker! I was in love and couldn’t wait for him to come back and marry me.

After we got married, for a short time, there was still romance, no gifts really, but Toby would leave me notes on the table in the mornings before he went to work, or when he came home for lunch, sweet little notes that were reminders of how much he loved me.
I was so homesick and lonely so one day he brought home a little puppy that someone had dropped off at the shop. It was tiny and had not been weaned, so I had to bottle feed it and once again I knew that Toby was the best gift giver around. It was absolutely the perfect gift for me at the time.

Little did I know that my wonderful husband, was not the perfect gift giver I thought he was. I began getting things like sheets for Christmas, pots and pans, (which I didn’t ask for), blenders, one year I even got towels! Towels, can you imagine!!! That was just the beginning of a long line of somewhat, shall I say, ‘unique’ gifts that I received from my husband.

One year we were at the beach with 2 other couples and my birthday, being in June, happened to fall on one of the days we were there. My friends and Toby decided to celebrate my birthday. They had a cake, some gifts and then I got to Toby’s gift. It was in a bag from Alvin’s Island, so I opened up the bag and there were 3 t-shirts. He got them from the 3 for $10 dollar rack. I couldn’t believe my eyes, for one thing, I very rarely wear a t-shirt, for another thing, 3 for $10, is not exactly the gift I was looking for, and last, but certainly not least, was what they said. It pains me to this day to repeat what was on the shirts, but here goes… “What part of NO don’t you understand!”, “#1 MOM,” and the last one was just a gulf shores t-shirt I think. By the time I read the first two, I couldn’t even see the last one. I was horrified!!! I couldn’t even talk. My friends were just as horrified as I was, but couldn’t even look at me. We all knew I was on the verge…of tears, anger, and was embarrassed. I couldn’t even talk to Toby. Later when we got home, the shirts, never on my body, were put into a donation sack.

You would think that would be the climax of the bad gifts, but there are so many more. One day for my birthday I got a weed-eater, gas powered, which is so heavy I can’t even use it. There were tool boxes, wheel barrels, and one year, I opened up a box and pulled out an owl, you know a small stuffed owl that had a graduation cap on it that had the year on it. (It was not the year I graduated). As I was pulling it out, I prayed, please dear God, let there be something else in this box, please…please. Luckily there was, a pair of earrings.

Thankfully, Amber got old enough to help with the gifts. She became my ally and I would tell here specifically what I wanted. One year I wanted a digital camera and she knew exactly which one I wanted. Later, she went with her dad to get it and she said they were in Best Buy and the line was so long and Toby looked at her and said, “I’m not standing in this line, I will get it later,” and Amber looked at him and said “Daddy, it’s Dec. 23., Mom wants this camera and we are going to stay in line till we get it.” He did. Another time they were walking in the mall and he passed the dollar store and said “let’s go in there and look for your mom”, she told him that there was nothing in the dollar store that I wanted for Christmas. Later she confided in me that she didn’t know how I did it, how I managed to put up with his shopping. I told her, I had learned over the years to just not take him, and to be very specific in what I wanted.

In saying all this I would be neglect if I didn’t say that through the years there have been a few surprises. I got a really nice necklace one year that was a total surprise and a ring another time. More recently he gave me Isabel, my sweet puppy, so he has on occasion redeemed himself.

I know why God gave us the perfect gift. He knew nothing on earth could compare to what He gave us, His Son, His love and His grace. So while my husband is still learning, God in His ultimate wisdom knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, “every good and perfect gift” would come from Him. I for one am so thankful for that, and I believe no matter what gift Toby does or doesn’t give me, nothing can ever compare to the “perfect gift” God has already given me.

The Perfect Day

Today was the perfect day! I woke up at 7:30 had a cup of coffee with the beautiful sun shining in the house and just sat for a little bit enjoying the morning. I love the sunshine! I cleaned in the house a little, piddled really, then went outside. Toby and I worked outside, we clipped shrubs back, moved some rose bushes, mowed, and raked. It was the perfect temperature outside for doing these things. In between all of this we played with Isabel, watched the birds, took breaks, sat and just enjoyed being outside. After such a rainy winter, it was just so nice to be able to be outside and soak up the sun.

I'm not a winter person, never have been and if the truth be told, actually get somewhat moody and depressed during the months of January and February. When January rolls around it seems like such a long dreary month that I find myself becoming dreary as well. Oh, I know we need the winter weather to kill the bugs and to make us appreciate the beautiful days, and I will admit that I do like the snow. I love to watch the snow coming down, and I love to go outside and make snowballs and I certainly appreciate how beautiful snow makes everything look. It's just that I don't like to be cold.

I know that God created both the cold and the warm. The cold to cleanse and to give everything time to rest and the warm to revitalize us, to bring everything back to life. In my own life God does that for me all the time. When I am far from God, my life begins to feel cold and dreary, my spirit begins to wither and freeze. But when I go to Him and rest in Him and spend time with Him, my spirit begins to thaw and I feel His warmth and presence within me. Maybe that is why I am more of a warm weather person, because when I am outside, basking in the warmth of the sun, watching the birds, planting things, playing with Isabel, it is all a reminder of the warmth of God.

So for me, right at this moment, today was the perfect day. Tomorrow may be even better, and promises to be, but for me, today was a perfect gift from God.

Jobless but not Worthless

Why is it that men seem to be defined by their jobs? When you meet a woman, one of the first things you ask is "are you married?", followed by "do you have any children?". With men it's different. One of the first things they're asked is "What do you do for a living?" It is the nature of men, and maybe our culture to define men by what they do and how good they are at it. In this day where there is so much unemployment it makes me ponder if maybe we aren't doing men a disservice. Do they become worthless because they do not have a job?


Men of my generation were raised in the age where you went to work, usually by the age of 16. They made their own money, bought their own cars, paid for their dates, all with their own money. If they didn't have it, they didn't do it. It was as simple as that. They were taught that you worked to provide for yourself and your family. It was your responsibility and you did it. It's a badge of honor and men wear it proudly, even to this day. I wonder though, if men shouldn't be defined by so much more. Shouldn't men be defined by how they portray God in their lives, how they treat their wives and children...do they show up and participate...do they make time to play...do they treat others with kindness and respect...are they willing to humble themselves before the Lord and seek guidance? Shouldn't we all, not just men, be defined by more. When we hold up a mirror to ourselves shouldn't we see a reflection of ourselves, but also a reflection of our Lord?

I ponder these questions, because Toby is unemployed. He has been since January. He took a stand against something he deemed unethical and it cost him a job. Has he become a lesser man because of it? No, in so many ways he has become even more the man of God. He is seeking more than ever God's will in his life and firmly believes that God has a plan. Will it change his perspective on things? I'm sure of it! Is he willing to humble himself before God and seek guidance? Absolutely! Is he now worthless? Absolutely not!

Laughter

I love laughter! Have you ever really thought about it? I love it!!! I love the sound that children make when they are tickled. I love it when they laugh so hard that they can't stop or get the hiccups. I love it when people get so tickled about something that they cry or their whole body shakes. Just being around someone who is laughing makes you smile. You can walk into a room and if someone is laughing, I mean really laughing, you smile. It is contagious! You can't help it. The other day someone was telling a funny story and I got so tickled, I couldn't catch my breath and I love that. I enjoy that deep down gut wrenching laughter that brings tears to your eyes. I remember when my children were small it always seemed that when they were supposed to be quiet, like in church, something would get them tickled and the more they would try to not laugh, the more they would laugh. I would try to make them be quiet, but they would just giggle more and pretty soon, I would get tickled just listening to them. I used to love tickling them until their giggles would fill the house. Oh how I love that sound!

Several memories stick out in my mind that to this day still make me laugh. I will share one with you...

When Amber was little, it was raining outside, just as it is now, and Toby was playing with her and they had built a tent in the living room. I was sitting on the couch reading and listening to them. Toby had just stuck his hand out of the tent and said, "my goodness, it's raining outside". A few seconds later we heard this little 'poot' from Amber and Toby jerked his head up teasing and said "What was that?..." Amber said without missing a beat... "That was the thunder daddy." To this day that makes me smile. I'm sure you have several of your own memories that make you smile, or giggle.

God must have liked laughter because it is mentioned all through the Bible. Here are just a few...

"A merry heart does good, like medicine." Proverbs 17:22;
"A cheerful heart has a continual feast." Proverbs 15:15;
"Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy." Psalm 126:2
"He will yet fill your mouth with laughing." Job 8:21

Laughter is a great gift and we should use it more often. Take time today and have a good laugh!

Brownies with Love

I can't seem to get it off my mind what a dear friend said to me yesterday. She just found out that she has cancer and was having a double mastectomy. But the thing that keeps sticking in my brain is that she said before her surgery, since she couldn't have anything to eat after midnight, her husband was going to wake her up at 11:00 p.m. and they were going to share brownies and ice cream. I thought that was just about one of the sweetest things I had ever heard.

As women, we are sometimes defined by how we look, well maybe not sometimes...most of the time. It's hard to come to grips with the possibility of loosing parts that seem to define us as women. But, here at this moment, this woman was offered something, something that only someone who sees beyond the physical to the beauty of the woman inside can offer. Here her husband offered her more than brownies and ice cream. He offered her his love, his support and the fact that to him, she is worth more than her physical parts. I would say that this friend of mine, is a very lucky and blessed woman and I pray that she will recover quickly. I pray that the next time she has brownies and ice cream, it will be to celebrate!