Mothers

I wrote this right after Mothers day 2010.With Mother's Day just past, it has me thinking a lot about Mothers. In particular, what makes a good mother? I looked up the definition of Mother in the dictionary and it is defined as "female parent; act as a mother to." I looked Mother up in the Bible dictionary and it also said, "the female parent of a household." It stated that in the Hebrew family, the mother occupied a higher position than that enjoyed by women in many other nations. The love and nurturing of God is sometimes compared to the love and caring a mother gives to a newborn child.

So what makes a good Mother?

My own Mother wasn't exactly an example that I would want to emulate. She was 17 and unmarried when I was born, got married shortly after my birth, than had 5 more children before she was 26. She was widowed at the age of 28, and died at the age of 31. She had a very short, sad life and for that I am sorry. She never knew God, she never really knew happiness and she never knew how to be a mother, or what having a loving mother was like. It has taken me years myself to get to this point, to the point that I can actually feel sad for her, to forgive her, and to yes, love her despite everything. So looking at my own Mother I certainly didn't get an answer there, but looking at others, I have seen examples of mothers that I truly believe are from God.

I have witnessed countless examples of good loving mothers. In church one Sunday night, I watched a young mother with her newborn baby beside her in a carrier, and the look of love in that mother's eyes while she watched her baby sleeping, the gentleness in the way she tucked the cover around her was so touching to me. Another time, a young child came to where her mother was standing and was trying to get her attention, the mother continued her thought and then immediately looked down, put her hands around the child's face, looked directly into her eyes and sweetly asked her what she wanted to tell her. This to me, let the child know that she had her mother's undivided attention and she was the most important person to her. I have witnessed how a mother will drop everything to take care of a handicapped child with love and compassion, while still making that child feel strong and confident. I have seen the heartbreak of a mother losing a child, and watched her mourn, while still keeping hold of her faith.

I have had personal examples of good mothers in my own life. One of my best friends growing up would invite me over and her mother was wonderful. The love she had for her family was so apparent. The fun they had eating dinner together, playing together, joking together, was something that I wanted. I was envious of my friend, but thankful to be a part of that for even a short time. There were other women who touched my life in many ways and left examples for me. My housemother was one. She wasn't openly affectionate, but in her way I could tell she cared for me. I was with her 7 years, almost longer than I was with my real mother. There was a lady who was a 'sponsor' to me who would write me long letters about her life and her family and would send me gifts, she even baked me brownies when I left and went out on my own. I never met her, but she left her mark on me. There have been countless others, teachers, Sunday school teachers, some of my friend's mothers, all who have in some way made an impression.

The Bible says in John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans; I am coming to you." I believe that is exactly what God did. He came to me, He didn't leave me alone. He helped me to be a mother. He guided my heart and my steps. I was so afraid of becoming a mother. So afraid that I would be like my own mother. God didn't leave me, He was with me every step of the way. What I lacked in example, God showed me with love.

So, what makes a good mother? I wish I could give you an answer. I guess, loving, praying, guiding, spending time, disciplining when needed, listening to your child, listening to your own instincts about things, and praying some more. I believe it is important to never give up on your child! Always pray for them and leave them in God's hands. After all, he loves them more than we can possibly comprehend, just as He loves us.

I myself can only hope that in time, I will be remembered as a good mother, and when I get to heaven, God will say...you loved those I gave to you as I love you.